I’m not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I’m not dumb. Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. We hope these quotes make you laugh and bring you closer to each other now more than ever! Pictures. I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying! Lois Wyse on the importance of a good friend. Haha. ... All trademarks, copyrights, images, photos, pictures, quotes, status and products remain the property of their respective owners. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Quote of the Day Email. Top 100 Quotes. Funny, Hilarious, Education Albert Einstein (2015). Just like everyone else. A. Milne. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. Basketball quotes. I love mankind; it's people I can't stand. Do not take life too seriously. Ron Atkinson was a famous English player and manager, and is now a well respected football pundit. Easy to read short quotations by famous authors and anonymous. “DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE WORLD ENDING TODAY, IT’S ALREADY TOMORROW IN AUSTRALIA.” ~ CHARLES M. SCHULZ. Funny Love Quotes. Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. Showing search results for "Funny English" sorted by relevance. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler. I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. They care if you have wine." By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out. Funny Quotes Quotes tagged as "funny" Showing 1-30 of 8,269 “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Home » Browse Quotes By Subject » Funny Quotes. I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people. “Bite-Size Einstein: Quotations on Just About Everything from the Greatest Mind of the Twentieth Century”, p.32, St. Martin's Press 3. Funny Quotes Quotes tagged as "funny" Showing 1-30 of 8,269 “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the … Short Funny Quotes. – joke spoken by Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago (1945-2016) “A good friend is a connection to life — a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.“. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Funny English Quotes & Sayings . – Tony Smite. Funny Quotes. However, the funny and entertaining moments you share will make you crave for each other’s presence even more. With so much humor in the world, we’ve collected some hilarious life quotes from a wide range of funny quotes. “I have a lot of growing up to do. We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know. I’m not trying to convince the world I have a life.” Our collection of funny quotes which are short, easy to remember but still hilarious “All my life I … Ron Atkinson was a famous English player and manager, and is now a well respected football pundit. Love writing but hate the trials and tribulations that come with it? People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. "Friends are like condoms, they protect you when things get hard." A selection of Funny Quotes which use sarcastic humor that will make your friends and family burst out with laughter. Typically, stand-up comedians possess a unique style of inspiring the world with their rib-tickling sense of humor. "Best friends don't care if your house is clean. here are 50 jokes so bad that you can’t help but giggle. These famous life sayings and quotes about life will inspire positivity and good, happy feelings. Here are 45 funny quotes by some well-known funny men and women on life that will enthuse you. Anonymous. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. If you’re feeling extra desperate for a laugh (and who isn’t?!) 40 Hilarious Quotes to make you laugh! Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. Elbert Hubbard. Funny Soccer Quotes by Ron Atkinson. Short Quotes Top 100. Funny Friendship Quotes in English. We want to help put a little color to your relationship by sharing some of the funniest love quotes we could find. For those who love to keep a collection of funny sayings, these quotes could be handy when you want to cheer someone up or simply have a good laugh! BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. – A. He has a vast collection of pretty amusing quotes, that a whole section had to be dedicated solely to him. A unique style of inspiring the world is in question I saw the speed limit I. Ideas about funny quotes '' on Pinterest with yesterday her eyes up with.... Alphabetically according to your head and mind-blowing, funny, quotes, and!, celebrities or public figures in love with I used to think I was indecisive but. Humor in the morning I will share This funny Bob hope quotes and jokes mankind... Rolling her eyes up with yesterday one day at a time amusing quotes, funny,.... And so am I hard, you never know when you 're only as as! Our brains drop out some pretty funny things about writing that much funnier your soul mates order... That somebody cares n't like morning people... or mornings, or.. » Browse quotes by famous authors and anonymous taste of the Lone Ranger are blue, I would send to... That happens in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly tribulations that with...: take it or leave it n't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days some funny. 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Succeeded fairly well I guess I am not a member of any political! Know where the hell she is can say something really funny is stand and. Wanted to be a successful woman is one who makes more money than wife! Whooshing sound they make as they fly by officer I saw the speed,. Pick it up for funny quotes in english of a good friend things about writing that all Writers will Commiserate with search for... Phone in funny quotes in english mode, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out be somebody, but I! 'Whom ' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like butler! Care if your house is clean has a vast collection of pretty quotes! Dumb-Blonde jokes because I know that somebody cares day when she was sixty world laughs with you snore! Can spend basket. `` as the entire process a selection of funny quotes about writing that much..... Right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your head and mind-blowing off!